The Best Gift You Can Give This Christmas

This Christmas season has completely snuck up on me.  Maybe it’s the spring-like weather we have here in SoCal, maybe it’s something else, but I’ve been having a “holy crap” moment right about now—hoping, pleading, and praying that Amazon can deliver on their promise to have gifts in hand before Christmas Day.

But this panic I’m feeling is more than just meeting deadlines and having gifts to offer my loved ones in a few days.

The panic I’m feeling runs deeper.  At its core is the desire not just to give gifts, but to give good gifts.

You know, those ones that strike a chord in peoples’ hearts, the ones that say I see you; the ones my family will cherish, and remember.

Maybe that’s too much pressure, but the truth is we all want to give good gifts.  But I’ve noticed a deeper question surfacing inside of me these past few months…

As a husband to a lovely wife, father of three very active boys, and owner of a growing business, I find my time is very stretched lately.  It’s a wonderfully rich life that I wouldn’t trade in for anything.

But as the busy tends to envelop me, I find myself dreaming of a simpler life.  One in which I am responsible to no one; one in which my time is my own to do with as I please; one in which I only have to take care of my own wants and desires.

I’m sure we can all relate.

The problem is, when I drift into self-preservation mode; when I lapse into thinking only of what will make me happy, an interesting phenomenon happens:

I begin to pull back, isolating myself from all of the things and people vying for my time and energy.

This isn’t necessarily unhealthy.  In fact, even Jesus withdrew from the crowds on a regular basis, so I’m pretty sure me taking some time away from the crazy isn’t such a bad thing.

The problem is, I tend to forget the other side of Jesus’ actions.  The part where he comes out of withdrawal recharged and more ready to take on his core mission, which was one focused on others and not himself.

For me, I tend to remain in my withdrawn state, and in doing do, before long I find myself on an emotional island, without a soul in sight.

The thing is this:  The more time I spend focusing solely on what makes me happy, the more emotionally isolated I become.  And the more isolated I become, the less motivated I am to engage, and the less I engage, the more unhappy I get.

A vicious cycle indeed.

I’ve experienced it personally, and I’ve witnessed it in others.  I’m not saying it’s inappropriate to take some time away from the demands; again, this is what Jesus did.  But when I read the scriptures more carefully, it says that “Jesus often withdrew by himself… to pray”.   

Oh.  So maybe Jesus’ alone time wasn’t really all about being alone, after all.  Maybe he knew that the true source of his energy came from resting in God , and that doing so would enable him to reengage, whereas resting in himself (like we tend to do) would ultimately be soul-sucking.

And so it’s ok to withdraw, but we also have to reengage.  And we have to do both in the same manner that Jesus did.

I believe the secret to unlocking a deep joy and happiness is found in that pattern.  But when we withdraw into ourselves (rather than in God), and when we fail to reengage, we ultimately miss out on the blessings to be received; at the same time, others miss out on the blessings we can give.

If we spend too much time alone on our emotional islands, we can tend to forget that there’s a whole world out there filled with human beings, flawed as we are, who are in desperate need of something.

And that something is you.

You see, blessing and joy go both ways.  We need each other in our lives; we all have something unique to offer this world, and it starts with offering love. 

Imagine what it would look like if we all grabbed hold of the life raft and started rowing toward shore.  A shore where yes, it’s messy and complicated and ugly and painful.  But it’s also a shore filled with promise and joy and blessings and laughter.

I want to be there.  And I need you there with me.

Perhaps that’s the single best gift we can all give this Christmas.